Absurdity, Allegory and China

George Bush is coming to the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Beijing, and he’s more than happy to tell us why:

“The Chinese people are watching very carefully about the decisions by world leaders, and I happen to believe that not going to the opening ceremony for the games would be an affront to the Chinese people, which may make it more difficult to be able to speak frankly with the Chinese leadership.”

Sadly, this seems to be about the depth of the Bush Administration’s foreign policy. “If we need to speak frankly to them, then we’d better go to their dance,” which is like pursuing state objectives at about the same level as the Sharks and Jets without, of course, a memorable score. So off pops George, doing all over again what he’s always done: brainlessly reading the cue cards that someone else has meticulously written for him so he knows just what to think. He has managed to ‘affront’ the entire world over the last 7+ years, and now he’s going to try to treat the Chinese people right? There’s a man who knows how to work an audience. But perhaps he ought to try with the Americans first, speak frankly to the leadership in America first. Oh, that’s right, George is the leadership. Not easy to forget that one, but sometimes I space out and think it’s all been a terribly long and equally terrible bad dream, something along the lines of ergotism.

You got to wonder if Hu Jintao made it to Athens? Or Jiang Zemin to Atlanta? Pretty certain Mao skipped Montreal. But George (aka Xiao Bushi) is going to Beijing so as not to offend the Chinese people? The only thing that I can figure is that he must need new fencing on the back 40,000, and this is the way to cover that bill. Look for a wave of temporary workers, perhaps from Sichuan, in Crawford TX over the next several months. This one could really be big.

But then, of course, there might be another reason. Back in 1975-76 when dad, George Walker, was envoy to China, young Dubya spent some of his seed-sowing days in the late-Mao capital, and only God knows what he did and who he met, much like his time in the flight-jacketed reserves. For all we know there may be someone special in Beijing. In the world of power and politics it is never a stretch to imagine that a beauty would lay down with Howdy Doody to seal a future deal. And in the pre-Viagra days of the late Cultural Revolution, there were plenty of young beauties lining up to bed a lot older men of influence than the goofy looking son of a future president: George Walker. I doubt even the Chinese of three decades ago could have imagined that W. would end up playing solitaire in the Oval Office. But it’s China, and you never know, what with all the feng shui, fat boys with fish and cracking oracle bones. There are rumors here just waiting to be exploited, perhaps a grainy video hidden away somewhere in a drawer in Zhongnanhai, a folder of yellowed implicating notes in very bad, though smart-ass English. Imaginations run wild. George Bush loves the Chinese people. Anyone know if Laura’s coming?

Anyone got any extra pain killers?